Funny marriage jokes

This night they have had one too many Bacardi Breezers and are unsteadily walking home. On the way they suddenly realize that they really have to pee, and lacking any proper facilities, they decide to sneak into a graveyard. The first woman realizes that she has nothing to wipe with, so...

An elderly couple, Mildred and George, moved to Texas. George always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Mildred looked...

We have prepared the ultimate collection of the best funny marriage advice. We have divided these advice into several categories – romantic, creative, funny, clever, unique, cute, happy, inspiring, and more…

And, NO, you are not married to Chris Pratt. *weeps*

Wife jokes | Husband jokes | Mom jokes | Funny relationship jokes | Really funny short jokes | Marriage jokes

In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.

Your husband will always be tour biggest and oldest child that requires the most adult supervision.

These funny quotes about marriage are the perfect way to laugh with your husband or wife or find inspiration for a wedding toast or witty Instagram caption.

Three brothers each marry a woman. The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her: “When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.” He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy. The second brother married...

Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says,

One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed. We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?” Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet...